He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
