Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My balls are so social today.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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