Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
