There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
