I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
