why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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