well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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