i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She needs sedatives and a leash
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
