Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My feet surprised me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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