we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
we're so committed to being not committed
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
