in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
false alarm, still single
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
