then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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