i permit you to call me
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
