i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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