I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
