you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
