Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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