You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
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i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
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I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Come share oat with me in your robe
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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