I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
