I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
