it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
