I will die if light touches me.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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