Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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