in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
