i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
