You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
