She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
