Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
