i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Holy sore nipples Batman
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
