You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
