so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
