they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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