The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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