My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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