It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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