She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
