Umm I'm too high to move.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
