how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
