i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
they're like a gay fantastic four
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
