She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid