We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
be right there i have to get my cape
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?