thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
