In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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