While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
