Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
