Welp...herpes.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
