Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
