Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
