Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
