I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
