She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Terrible idea I love it
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
