How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
