i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
