dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
