is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I looked at my own cervix.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
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