My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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