So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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