..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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