Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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