I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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