I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
