i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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